Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Home at Last

-- Tuesday Evening --
After a long three week stay at St. Josephs Hospital, we're home at last. As an anonymous commentor mentioned, her care is now in the hands of KC Hospice, although the immediate family is still very much involved in the day-to-day activities. Today, Misty, an RN from KC Hospice, spent approximately three hours with us, doing all the things Shawndra needs. There are so many tubes now, that it can be overwhelming. I'm happy to say that her pain is under control, enough so that she walked from our bedroom to Ella's playroom and back this afternoon.

A lot of people complain about health insurance premiums. Perhaps some of that is warranted, but one thing to remember is, when something devastating happens to a family member, like it has for Shawndra, the coverage is there when you need it. I cannot give enough praise to Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas. Not once has a claim been denied. And, although private nursing is not offered as part of the health insurance policy, the company has approved 40 hours this week, for a private nurse to help us. That's in addition to hospice. We're blessed.

Since this is Mommy's first day home, in a long time, Ella decided she didn't want to go to daycare/school this morning. She was a good girl for her grandmother and me.

-- Wednesday Evening --
Sorry, I didn't have a chance to finish this post last night. Today Shawndra slept until 4PM. It's now almost 7PM. Three hours is a long time for her to be awake, we're all cherishing it. Gary (Shawndra's father) and I moved furniture in the master bedroom to accomodate the hospital bed. This bed is much more condusive for when Shawndra is sleeping and awake, since it moves in a lot of different ways. Currently, Ella is lying between Shawndra's legs, watching Scooby Doo.

A few of the "Lake House Ladies" surprised Shawndra with stories of receiving tattoos of butterflies on their ankles (to honor Shawndra). This past Saturday, I met three ladies at Irezuma's to videotape the event. There was laughter, grins of pain, but all in all, an enjoyable, especially bonding experience. I too was tattooed on the shoulder, but with a custom design, created by Mark (at Irezuma). This was a rather impromtu decision. Like Mark said, every tattoo has a story behind it. I'll explain more of the symbolism my tattoo has on another day. (And, yes, a photo. Perhaps even a video.)

Well, it's time to prepare Shawndra's evening "cocktail" as we call it. Thank you for your prayers. As far as visits are concerned, yes, she welcomes them, but please call well in advance so we can plan for it. We are also considering the idea of having set times on certain days for "open house" visiting. That may work better. What say all of you?

Good night, all. I'm anxious to get some REM sleep tonight. This brain of mine isn't firing on all cylinders right now...
- Doug

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, i'm so glad you all are at home and in such wonderful hands; what a tremendously loving family you are. I love the thought of ella watching scooby doo laying with her mama. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily. Lots of love, amy graver beers

Anonymous said...

So happy that Shawndra is home again. Thank you for the update.
Meghan

Anonymous said...

What a blessing! We have been saying prayers to Michael the Archangel everyday for Shawndra in her battle to come home. May your family have all the love and peace and then some in the future.
Love,
The Aiken Family

Anonymous said...

Praise God that you are all home together. The image of your precious daughter laying with you watching Scooby is priceless. Still praying for all of you.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful Wednesday news...

Thoughts & prayers for comfort and peace at home surrounded by your family and friends!

Shawndra - I am currently finishing up prereqs for nursing school, I hope you know that reading your blog has made a positive difference in my life. I hope to one day become a nurse (it's hard working full time and raising a family...but it WILL happen for me!) and make a difference in the lives of those I encounter. It's unfortunate that my family has also had to utilize the services of Hospice, but they are a wonderful organization!

Praying for comfort & for many wonderful moments with your family.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy to her you are at home and the pain is under control. I am sure the small things like watching scooby doo will be one you never forget. My prayers are with you for peace and comfort. Enjoy this special woman.

Prayers from STL

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you all are at home. It is extra nice that you have so much wonderful family around and help to care for Shawndra. I would love to visit but I am so darn far away, so please tell Shawndra that I have been thinking of all our fun church times together and missing her. You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

Love - Susan McRae

nancygrayce said...

So glad Shawndra is home! I pray every time I think of you all....and I check on your family every day...

Anonymous said...

Welcome home!! I smiled with Doug's comment about Ella watching Scooby Doo while laying with you; that is a priceless visual. You have an amazing family and a remarkable husband. Doug, I admire your strength and steady head and hand in these trying times.

I am praying for your comfort and peace daily.

Jeremy Dirkes

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
Although we do not know each other, I check on you everyday. I just want you to know that you are an amazing women and I will never forget you. You have touched the lives of so many and are truly inspirational. Please do everything that is right for you at this time! Stay surrounded by your family and closest friends. Sending my thoughts and love to you from St. Louis.
Tracy

Anonymous said...

Turner family-

We are so happy you are home surrounded by all of the comforts that go with it! You have been in our prayers daily and in those of our church family and prayer team and will continue to be.
God Bless all of you and the wonderful people with hospice. They are truly a blessing and an incredibly special group of people!
Welcome Home! And we can't wait to see the pictures of the tattoos!!

Phil and Kristal Rayson

Roswita said...

It's so good to hear so specific news.

Small walks, having Ella with her on her bed, long sleeping hours.

I hope you all have som REM sleeping hours to keep up your strength, faith and humor.

That must be a very nourishing cocktail.

Always thinking and praying for your strength.

Love,

Roswita

Anonymous said...

Welcome home, Sweet Shawndra. You are constantly on my mind and always in my prayers.
Hugs to you all...
Shelley

Anonymous said...

Welcome Home, Shawndra!!!!

We love you!

Brad, Brandi, Victoria and Olivia

Anonymous said...

Doug, so good to see a post from you. I'm praying Shawndra's pain continues to be controlled. I'm so glad Shawndra is home with her family. As far as visitors go, I'm sure whatever you think is best for Shawndra everyone will respect and understand. Take care of yourself ad give Shawndra a big hug from me.
Love, Julie

Melony said...

Shawndra,

I am so happy to hear that you are back in the comfort of your own home where you can enjoy your family and fun times with sweet little Ella. I pray that Hospice can keep your pain under control. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life through this blog. You are an amazing woman..

Anonymous said...

Doug,

Thank you very much for the update. I know this is a big adjustment for everyone and although she may not always say it, I know Shawndra loves and appreciates you and every little thing you do.
I emailed Andrea and the Beauchamps to let them know I'm happy to help in any way I can. You know I'm just a phone call, text or email away.
I hope you are able to get more sleep at home. Please take care of yourself.
Welcome home Shawndra! It warms my heart to know you are together as a family once again.

Love, Dustin

Michele said...

Doug, I agree about the health insurance. We have Anthem Blue Cross and we used to complain about the premiums until I got cancer and saw what they paid out. They never denied me anything. Not a bit of trouble.

kelley said...

Home :)
I love the tattoo idea, and being already "branded", this gives me the desire to add a butterfly. Tattoos are contagious, you'll see.
My prayers continue for peace to you all.

Anonymous said...

I too am so glad Shawndra is home with her family!! How sweet Ella watching Scooby Doo with her Mommy!!!
Most of US are strangers just praying!! She has been such a sweetheart in her blogs..He He.....But Dustin I cannot help but think you would be SO welcome to hang with them!!I feel so sad for you too!!
You have been an important person in her life!!

Sincerely,
Kitty

Lorna Taylor said...

Zoinks! Shawndra's home with Scooby Doo! Wonderful news. :-)

Team Piggott said...

I'm so glad to see you're home now. I am so behind on calling you guys. My intentions are there, but being back and forth at the NICU just sucks any brain function I have out of me. I will definitely be stopping by soon...after calling of course. Love you all!

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
I pray every night for your family and for myself. In my prayers I ask God to keep Shawndra free of pain and for a miracle. For myself, I pray that I have the strength and humility to handle difficult situations with the same grace and resolve that your family has. I am a working in progress. I think God may have been able to obtain perfect or darn close to it with you guys!

Becky said...

I am so thankful that Shawndra is home with her family and I bet Ella was very excited to see mommy and daddy. Cherish these "awake" moments because I know it is tough to control pain and them not be sleepy. My prayers are with you all!

Anonymous said...

What wonderful news to read Shawndra is home! Your family is in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra you and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers. I was lucky enough to be a surrogate roommate in college and while I'm sure you wanted me to leave your room many times, you never made me feel unwelcome. Your contagious laugh and friendly smile is something I will never forget. It is promising to hear you are up walking around and I thank you for sharing your story and making all of us more aware of the warning signs. APhi love and mine...

Anonymous said...

I am thankful you are home with your family. Our prayers and love continue to be with you. C.

Nat said...

Doug, I've never met you, and since I haven't spoken with Shawndra in years it's even hard for me to say that I know Shawndra well, but I know this just from reading this blog over the last few months: you, Doug, are an amazing husband, and Shawndra is blessed to have you in her life. I'm so glad she's home with her little girl. -Natalie Shearer Chiles

Naomi in GA said...

Dear Shawndra & family
I cry as I read this....I adore you, you have been a inspiration to me and a angel to me on this earth, I am feeling compelled to get a butterfly on my ankle now as well ; ) I wish I wasnt so far away Id love to come and see you,as you know we are stationed in GA...Doug...Andrea if you read this can you please let me know if there is a time I can call to talk to her a few moments? I know she is tiring and weak,but I want to personally tell her the difference she made in my life and battle of illness as well..she told me push for the cea I did..Im fighting...
Shawndra has my number, Ive texted a few times through her hospital stay she has called me at home, so I belive she may still have my home phone as well....I also sent both again to Andrea...since I cant be there to visit a short call to tell her how much she has made a difference in my life and to tell her how much myself as a friend and prayer warrier love her..I know you have 100000000000000 other fish to fry but if you read this Doug,SHawndra or Andrea please contact me to let me know a good time to call, Ill NEVER forget her laugh...shes always been such a sweet strong person..an angel on earth..I still am praying for you my dear friend!
With Love&Prayers
Naomi in GA
naomiwhite04 at yahoo or like I said Andrea has my info as well..shawndra does too,but I know she has more important things to worry about than looking up a phone number or email contact.
(((HUGS)) I miss you my dear Shawndra
GOD BLESS YOU ,Doug your courage and strength is amazing, and lil Ella you enjoy all the scooby and cartoons you want laying w/mommy!
Love you all

Michelle said...

I am so glad to read that Shawndra is at home!!!! Your entire family continues to have my prayers, night and day...Shawndra, and all of you, are never far from my mind.


Michelle

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you are home and the pain is under control.

Doug, thanks so much for keeping us up to date.

Much love to your whole family.

Marny

joyce smith said...

This is sweet, wonderful, welcome news. Thank you Doug, for painting us the picture. :-)
Joyce

Laura said...

Welcome home, wishing you much love and peace.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE UPDATE DOUG, MAY THE GOOD LORD CONTINUE TO TOUCH YOUR LIVES BRINGING PEACE, COMFORT AND LOVE INTO YOUR HOME EVERYDAY.....LIFTING YOUR NAMES UP IN PRAYER.....GLAD U ARE ALL HOME SWEET HOME !!! WITH CHRISTIAN LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP, YOUR ANGEL OF PRAYER IN KC,MO....JEN MILLER :) SCOOBY DOOBY DO......

Dorothy said...

My thoughts and prayers are with Shawndra and her family. From reading her blog I know she is a wonderful lady.
Hugs,
Dorothy

Anonymous said...

Love you, Shawndra! You are always in my thoughts.
Love, Hillary

Robin said...

I am so glad to hear that Shawndra is home with her family. I hope that she has some really great moments and is comfortable. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra and Family-

Welcome home Shawndra!!! You are in wonderful hands of your family. Please know if we can be any extra hands to you all we are here for you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you always! Keep Believing! Love You All!

The Mudge Family

Anonymous said...

Prayers to you all...Sue

Lisa said...

How freaky that Matthew had Scooby on this morning before school! lol I am soooo glad you are home and that your insurance is paying for such great nursing care at home! That is just awesome! PTL! Thanks for the update...looking forward to the tatoo pics/videos.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

I am so glad you are home with Doug and Miss Ella. I am also so grateful to know you are comfortable and your pain is controlled. You continue to be in my thoughts throughout the day and are always in my prayers. You are such an amazing person and have taught me so much. I hope to get to see you soon. Sending much love your way.

Jennifer Teegarden

Martina said...

Shawndra and Doug,

You inspire me with your love, devotion, faith, courage and humor in the midst of it all.

Please know there are people out here, that you’ve never met, that are greatly touched, inspired and praise each day because of you two.

Much love to you.

-Martina

Anonymous said...

Hi Turner Family,

Thank you, Doug for updating us. I have been checking several times a day for an update. I, again, got a tear (or two or ten) imagining sweet Ella with her mommy. How sweet is that?!?!

I am so relieved Shawndra is home and I know you are embrassing every moment spent with her.

My Grandpa had hospice and they are angels sent from above.

I pray for you every night and think about you throughout the day.

I can't wait to see the pics!

**Hugs**

Alana Dober

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

So glad you are home with your little girl, I don't know you at all but check in on you from day to day. You must be a brave and courageous woman and I hope only the best comes your way! I think of you and am not always so religious but have been saying a prayer for you and your family. My fater was diagnosed with sarcoma last year and my grandfater with colon cancer this june.
I will continue to think of your family and pray for your well being.

Anonymous said...

So glad you are home where Ella can love on her mommy 24/7. It sounds like you are all in excellent hands. Praying for Shawndra and checking on you guys daily.

Vickie Kruse Wieberg said...

Dear Doug, THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to update your wifes " fan club ". It is such great news to know she is at home.
You always paint such a tender picture as you narrate this story when Shawndra cannot.
As we read the words that you've written, which are so bittersweet, my heart breaks for what your heart must be feeling when you actually witness these precious moments.
You seem to always stay humerous, upbeat & positive. I don't know if because you have been dealing with this for quite sometime now, you are just used to it, which I'm sure isn't it, or if this is just your nature..., whatever it is, I am in awe and I appreciate the time you take, posting these beautiful stories for all of us to read.
I think of Shawndra so much. I pray for her, everytime I think of her. I think of her EVERYTIME I tell my baby boy that I love him. After I say," Mommy loves you", I hear in my head, " Mommy loves you all the time", because I have never read that book or even saw that book, I heard those words here, from the book Shawndra has always read to Ella. What a simple but beautiful message that is. If you could never say anything else..., Mommy loves you ALL the time, is the ONLY thing you would have needed to say. That, will be remembered by Ella, her entire life. She will always know that. Doug, you will always remember that to. You will never be able to see that book again or hear those words without thinking of Shawndra- whether she gets the miracle we all want or not.
Shawndra, Im so glad to know you are resting comfortably with your daughter by your side. Im glad your husband & parents are with you. Im just glad that you're at your home.
Very happy that you have a nurse to help with everything this week until you can get used to what you are doing. Glad youre not having to fight w/ an insurance company.
I'm happy the sun is shining & that you are all together again. Many thoughts & prayers, Vickie in J.C.,Mo.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy to hear that Shawndra is home with her wonderful family. Praying for you.
Love,
Wendy

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that Shawndra is home. I'm so thankful that she is blessed with such a wonderful family. My heart breaks for all of you, but I know that God is bringing peace. You and Shawndra seem so thankful even in the midst of such a trial. It's mind boggling to me, but it makes me trust God more.

I'm praying for all of you.

Julie

Lori said...

So glad to hear Shawndra is home!! Prayers and Best Wishes continue!! Stay strong and Enjoy your time with her!! Glad to hear Ella is loving having her mommy home too!! Hugs!!

Vickie Kruse Wieberg said...

Turner family, especially Ella. I know I've already posted for the day but, I found this poem that made me feel so good & I have to share it with you & all the people that check in on Shawndra the way that I do. Maybe you could even read it to her, as she sleeps...,

FOR ANYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE...HERE IS A SWEET STORY THAT HELPS MAKES SENSE OF DEATH & DYING :

THE STORY OF THE DRAGONFLY
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in awhile, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided to take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue- tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and family and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back and tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his family & friends the good news. Then, he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life !

Author Unknown

Sherri P eh said...

I am so glad to read that Shawdra is home and that you're all together. God bless you all. Love and prayers.

Rachel said...

I am so glad she is home and resting well with little pain.

I will be praying that Shawndra remains in little/no pain during her time at home.

You are one awesome support system!

Rachel

kelley said...

Taken from a post on Stephanie Vests blog. thought it was appropriate to share.


The Story of the Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

~Author Unknown~

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that Shawndra is back home and able to rest and spend some precious time with her family. Please tell her that all of us on the blog are praying for her and thinking of her each day!

Still praying!

Christie in GA

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you are home with your family. I love you Shawnd. Continued prayers.
Liz

joyce smith said...

Can I just say each day that I love you, even though I have never met you? If that is all I can think of to say? Joyce

Anonymous said...

So glad you are in the comfort of your home. I'm sure Ella and Doug are so hapy to have you back home. I continue to pray for your comfort. Enjoy your snuggle time with Ella.
God Bless-
Melody

Anonymous said...

Dear Shawndra, Doug and Ella.....

Prayers have been answered that dear Shawndra is back at home with her loving family, surrounded by so much love.....I pray that the Hospice team will keep Shawndra comfortable at home where she wants to be. Everyone is praying for your family during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your lives with all of us and for teaching us that everyday counts and that when you say "I LOVE you"..... You really mean, "I LOVE YOU ALL THE TIME"..... We love and continue to pray for you ALL THE TIME......

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the post Doug. I have been diligently praying for a miracle for you, Shawndra, and we serve a God who does the impossible!! I have been struggling with a digestive/colon disease for the last year, and a verse I just love that reminds me that God is in control is from Exodus 15.26 "..for I am the LORD, your healer." and Psalm 73.26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." I can't wait to hear how the Lord is going to move in your life over the next few weeks, and we will praise His name in the good times and any difficult times to come!! God Bless you Doug and Ella and He'll pour out His strength on you both!!
In Christ's Love,
Heather

Anonymous said...

Welcome home...may the comfort of home and smiling face of your husband and precious little one bring you peace. Thinking of you...and sending our prayers.

Allyson

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart, I am so glad to see you are at home with your loving husband and adorable little girl. I wish you all the comfort in the world and you are never far from my thoughts.

Thank you for teaching me not to take life for granted.

Much love and respect from a complete stranger! Peace to you and your family.

Vickie Kruse Wieberg said...

Thinking of you Shawndra, this Saturday morning. Hoping today brings cartoons & cuddles from your little baby girl.
Praying you have rest & comfort today & everyday! God Bless, Vickie in J.C., Mo.

joyce smith said...

Cartoons and cuddles. :-) Sounds pretty sweet. :-) Love, Joyce

Anonymous said...

Hospicenet.org and hospicefoundation.org both have a lot of good information that might be beneficial to Shawndra, you, her parents and Ella. The first is very basic, easy to navigate and read. The second might take a little more time to find what you are looking for. The hospice team might also be able to help Shawndra figure out what would work best for her as far as visitors go and how to handle the phone calls/drop in visits, etc.

Astraea said...

I'm so happy she's home. I wish I didn't live halfway across the country and could come for Open House! You are in my prayers.
Much Love,
Astraea

Anonymous said...

how are you? looking every day to get an update...